Read the following essay prompt and answer the question. The essay prompt often contains an inherent ethical conflict or problem to be solved and typically requires you to recognize the inherent conflict, form a cogent thesis to solve the problem, and argue your ideas. Use specific examples to prove your thesis and supporting arguments. You may wish to write a structured five paragraph essay or, in many cases, perhaps a narrative will work as well.
Feel free to submit your essay below for review or contribute your thoughts on other essays posted. Both activities will help you prepare for the exam and the more you contribute, the more you will get out of this section.
TJHSST ESSAY PROMPT
HOMEWORK ESSAY/SIS PROMPT
“Given Unlimited Resources, What Scientific or Medical Problem Would You Investigate?”
Your essay should be well-organized and provide rich detail showing the reader not just telling them why your solution or argument is the best.
If commenting on the essays please remember the rules and stick with positive suggestions that can help the author. Focus on the essay structure and quality. The following guidelines are by no means compete, but can serve as a guide for useful suggestions.
- Quality and impact of thesis statement and opening paragraph. This may be the most important paragraph. Does it provide a roadmap for the essay?
- Supporting paragraphs. Do these follow the outline of the 1st paragraph? Do they use explicit examples and not deviate unnecessarily from topic?
- Prose. Are the sentences direct and effective with proper grammar and correct spelling?
- Conclusion. Perhaps the least important paragraph. Does it wrap it all up?
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If I had unlimited resources, what scientific or medical problem would I investigate? I would choose to figure out how to rid humans of addiction, because: it would solve various types of problems, it would help many people, and I am interested in the science behind how humans work.
Firstly, finding a cure for human addiction would solve many problems humans face today. It seems everytime I turn on my television there is an advertisement for some invention to help nicotine-addicted people quit smoking, however, if there was a foolproof way to guide people off cigarettes they would no longer be sold. Cigarettes are not the only example of a substance causing addiction: drugs, alcohol, electronics, and sugar are also contenders. Solving addiction would cure a widespread problems and would help solve various issues of differing sizes, small being hooked on drinking caffeine several times a day, to large ones like having an irrepressible love for gambling to the point of visiting the casino daily. In my school’s health class, we learned about substances that over time cause the human body to be addicted, and I was shocked to see the quantity of them! To investigate addiction would be a relevant and needed search.
Secondly, investigating addiction would help many people. Over the summer I saw a movie trailer about Amy Winehouse and her tragic life, which sparked my curiosity about her. Amy Winehouse was a talented singer who died at the young age of 27 from a drug overdose. When looking her up I learned she was not the only musician who died at the age of 27 from drugs; there are so many others who followed the same tragic path she did that Amy Winehouse and others are sometimes referred to as the “27 Club:” artists who died at the age of 27 from addictive substances. The fact that there is a name for them says something about the widespread problem of addiction. Additionally, I often see signs of electronic addiction in my friends and classmates. Once in math class I noticed a girl was checking her texts about every five seconds, and later she told me checking her texts so often was her normal routine. Another example where electronic addiction may seem even more troubling is texting while driving, a behavior if stopped could save many people’s lives. Seeing widespread behaviors like this is teenagers and adults makes me nervous, and I feel looking into addiction could help many people enamored with harmful things.
Lastly, I have always been interested in how humans work. When I was five and visiting my local library, I checked out science magazines and books. I started with the children’s books about the basics of psychology, but as I grew up I became more interested in human behavior. One of the most fascinating tidbits I learned is how when speaking to someone, if you ask the person to do a favor for you and she carries out the task, it triggers the brain to make her to feel that she likes you. Just learning about why and how humans become addicted would be interesting for me, even if I did not make any discoveries. On the topic of humans, I am also interested in vaccines and how to create cures for diseases. If I could combine my knowledge of vaccines and what I will study with human addiction, I could create a cure of some kind to stop addiction in humans. This medical advance would not just be needed, I would enjoy creating it as it correlates to my passions.
In conclusion, I would love to learn how to rid humans of addiction, because: it would solve many types of problems, it would help numerous people, and I am interested human behavior. Addiction is definitely a problem, and a solution is much-needed in our world.
Nice essay, but you should never put ‘in conclusion,’ in an essay. If you do, your essay will sound more like a debate instead of a professional essay.
With unlimited resources, most people would send people to the moon, but I would target a current world problem. There are many big scientific issues in this world: world hunger, illnesses, global warming, etc., but I have always been inclined towards pollution. I am so sick of it. On TV, I see animals choking on trash. It makes me so bad, my face turns red. What makes things worse, is that people don’t even care! They just throw their trash anywhere! With unlimited resources, I could put an end to this problem.
Last year, there was a science fair in my school. My friend and I chose to research information about water pollution and make a website on it. We found a lot of surprising pictures. One of them was of the Ganga River in India after a festival. The Ganga River is known to be the purest river in India, yet it is filled with trash! There were coconuts, garlands, plastic bags, and so much more covering the river. Not even a glimpse of water was showing. I was furious. How could a river be pure when it is filled with trash? The judges loved that we chose such an important problem so much, that we beat the team that made a standstill hover board. Since then I was fascinated by water pollution. I have helped clean up parks and neighborhoods, but there is too much trash.
I love watching the science channel whenever I have time. One time, what I saw was so sad, I cried. On the beautiful beaches of Hawaii, which were blocked off to the public, there were piles of trash and plastic. Imagine that, a breathtaking beach filled with trash. That’s pretty bad. Now think about the animals that live on the beach. The little crab families were living with trash. The trash in the water was coming up onto shore and contaminating the land. Now think about the animals in the water. The area in which there was trash was bigger than 5 times the area of Texas! Five times! Then I saw devastating images of animals that were dead, lying on trash. I lost it.
There were crews of volunteers nice enough to clean up the trash. They came everyday, with new, fresh mounds to clean. Finally, someone had a solution. A man had a solution. He fashioned a net bag that you put on the back of a boat and it picks up trash before it gets to shore. I would help him make a better and more efficient way of cleaning. Since I have unlimited resources, I could get volunteers and clean up all around the world. I would also make a machine that could help clean up on land. Then, all of the trash would be gone and we could have a beautiful environment again.
I have seen to many tragic pictures of water pollution. I am tired of it and it needs to stop. I would use my unlimited resources to make things that will aid in cleaning up the environment. Our environment used to be so breath taking. If we could clean up the trash covering earth’s beauty, then we could see the spectacles of the world again.
My neighbor goes to the same school as me. Sometimes I don’t see her for weeks because she has this type of a disease that can’t be cured. It’s called cancer. Cancer is an illness in which abnormal cells divide uncontrollably and destroy body tissue. Ever since I was little, I used to always read books on cancer because I found it an interesting subject. If I was given unlimited resources, what problem would I investigate? I would obviously investigate cures for cancer.
Over 7.6 million people worldwide die from cancer each year. Cancer can be cured—through surgery, but then it can come back again. There is no “real” cure. A lot of people think that cancer may just be some type of a sickness, but they are wrong; it’s more important than that. Cancer isn’t one thing. For example, did you know that there are over 200 different kinds of cancer, and not even more than half of them are “cured”? Even then there is still no 100% cure, such as a pill or liquid medicine to take. Sure you can cure cancer if you catch it early, but not everyone does. Every 4 out of 10 people are diagnosed with cancer, but only 4 out of 10 patients diagnosed with this deadly disease catch it early. That leaves 60% of everyone with cancer marked for death.
Cancer is a disease in any area of the body, hence the many different kinds of it. It starts out as a single virus, taking the regular route throughout the body. It attacks cells, and then those cells divide into two, so now there are two infected cells. Then those cells divide into four, then eight, and so on. However what makes cancer so unique is that after it begins multiplying the blood cells, it starts to attack the incoming white blood cells. White blood cells are the cells sent by the immune system, to catch the disease and prevent the cell from multiplying. If the white blood cells are being taken down along with the blood cells by cancer, then no part of the body is safe.
Finding a cure for cancer would save possibly millions of lives. Overall, I would investigate finding a cure for cancer because there is no “real” cure.
I like the build up of the problem itself and what the consequences are. I also like your detailed description of the disease…you clearly have read a lot as you state in the essay. In fact, I like how you point out it is not one disease per se, but a mistake in the genetic code that gets replicated in many different forms. As you allude to, cancer cannot be cured because mistakes or defects are scientifically inevitable for anything not just biological organisms. It is no less inevitable than entropy. That begs the question for the reader….why do you want to investigate what you say cannot be cured?
If I were to make a suggestion I would say try to bring a personal narrative into the story. It may not be your story directly, but the story of your friend perhaps or your friendship. Show the reader more about how cancer has changed her life. What was life like beforehand? You could see her every day? This is a big topic and by making it personal you engage the reader on an emotional level and make a big topic something they can understand and relate better to. It will open a window into you for the reader and that is a big part of this essay prompt even though it is not an SIS per se.
There are many scientist and medical problems that should be solved, but one that is important is being fit and having good nutrition. People that lack good nutrition and exercise will have a greater likelihood of getting obese. Secondly, people who don’t get enough nutrition can get diseases like scurvy, iron
deficiency, osteoporosis, and others. Lastly, people who are not fit can find it hard to do simple activities like walking for a long period of time.
If you didn’t know Obesity is caused by the lack of exercise and good diet. It may seem easy for some, but not for many. Lots of adults and children in the U.S. and around the world have obesity. Obesity can cause many health complications like diabetes, and heart disease, some of which are fatal. Not only is obesity deadly, but it’s also preventable. Something must be done to stop this.
Malnutrition is caused a lack of nutrients in a person’s body. One example is scurvy. Scurvy is caused when a person lacks vitamins and nutrients found in fruits and veggies. This disease killed many sailors from centuries ago, as they didn’t know the health benefits of fruits and had limited storage. Another example is Osteoporosis. It is caused by the body’s lack of calcium. It can lead to bones becoming weak and brittle. A small fall can become painful, as your bones cannot take as much impact. My last example is iron deficiency, a condition caused by the lack of iron in the body. In normal people, it can cause fatigue, but in pregnant women, the baby is at risk! Though much has been done to learn more about ways to get nutrition in our body’s, malnutrition still kills many people in poor countries.
A lack of fitness can make daily activities hard. People who don’t exercise their muscles often can begin to feel the muscles shrink and become useless. Simple things like picking up grocery bags can feel difficult. People who don’t move around a lot can have a hard time walking or running. People who don’t exercise also often feel tired and fatigue easily. It can make going to school hard as you will have trouble staying up. Things people take for granted can become a burden on people’s lives.
Lack of good nutrition and fitness can cause a whole lot of stuff. It leads to obesity, malnutrition, and makes doing simple tasks hard, and it’s preventable. Giving people this information can help prevent it from killing another person. Next time you’re about to go to McDonald’s think again, and go eat some veggies and exercise. Not only will you feel good, but it might even lengthen your life.
With unlimited resources there are many things one can investigate but if I had unlimited resources I would investigate alternate forms of energy. From my childhood technology has changed rapidly but in terms of an energy source it has not changed much at all. Due to how limited in terms of the amount of fossil fuel based energy it is very important to be able to research about alternate forms of clean energy. Using fossil fuels as a form of energy is a very harmful practice and it will only continue to harm our environment and by extension the human race.
The first mass produced car for a majority of everyday people had been the Ford Model T was first produced in 1908 and now fast forward to 2016. Cars have improved in numerous ways but what a majority of today’s cars have in common with the Model T is its use of petroleum. Petroleum when used as a source of fuel, such as with in cars, release harmful emissions such as carbon dioxide, which is the number one cause of the greenhouse effect. Not only is the use of petroleum harmful but just as harmful is the Impact of drilling for it.
Oil companies pump liquid oil out of the ground by using drilling rigs and wells that access the pockets of oil resources. The oil fills the rock layers the way water fills a sponge — spreading throughout open spaces — instead of existing as a giant pool of liquid. This arrangement means that to pump out all the oil, drillers have to extend or relocate the wells after the immediate area has been emptied. Oil drilling rigs set on platforms in the ocean to access oil reserves below the seafloor must therefore employ a series of more technically complex drill rigs built to access oil reserves in deeper water. Refining this crude oil into petroleum is a process which releases toxins into the atmosphere that are dangerous for human and ecosystem health. Not only that but potential oil spills such as the one in the Gulf of Mexico. But oil spills while usually featured in the media a majority of oil in our environment is actually from oil that leaks from cars, airplanes, and boats, as well as illegal dumping.
Oil is just one example of how fossil fuels effect our environment. Not only are we limited in or supply of fossil fuels but our society heavily relies on the usage of fossil fuels. What will we do once when we use up this limited supply of harmful energy? Or will we pollute our air to toxic levels before we run out. Slowly we humans are killing our world and our once green earth is now in a sense turning darker path and if we don’t try to change our act there might not be anything left to call home.
First, I would recast a couple sentences in the intro that are not clean and concise. “From my childhood technology has changed rapidly but in terms of an energy source it has not changed much at all. ” From my childhood technology…are you trying to say technology in general has changed a great deal in my first 13 years on planet Earth (note how I used some specifics) , but the technology for delivering and consuming energy has changed very little? Also, “Due to how limited in terms of the amount of fossil fuel based energy it is very important to be able to research about alternate forms of clean energy. ” Even more now that I put the sentence by itself, I do not get it. I do not understand what you are saying. Are you saying fossil fuel resources are limited so we need to find alternatives?
In the 2nd paragraph I would put a period after 1908. Then say something like, ” Over 100 years later, in 2016, cars have improved in numerous ways, but they still burn fossil fuels. Is it the advanced engineering or technical aspects of drilling that are a problem? It is complex, but how is that inherently bad? Are you making a case against fracking or some technical element of drilling? I think you could make a strong case to the reader about the Gulf of Mexico. Although largely forgotten outside the region, the spill has horrible remaining consequences that still persist to this day.
This is a good topic. Huge topic! You clearly have done some reading on the subject and it shows. Is there a way to show your passion even more? i.e. make it personal? Another suggestion I would make is to show us an alternative. There is a reason why we still use fossil fuels in cars. The price of the fuel going into the car is still almost the same as it was 100 years ago despite everything else rising in cost due to a century of inflation. Furthermore, it is a densely packed liquid source of BTUs that can be transported and stored in various forms which is instrumental for things like cars. There has not been an option that comes close in terms of cost and utility. That is until the electric vehicle today. Perhaps you could point to this or another example that shows how better options are being commercialized and can revolutionize the future. Don’t just highlight the bad elements of the problem, but show the reader a solution. You began talking about alternative energies so tell us about some of those too!
As a point of curiosity, how would your essay address a skeptical reader who states the fact that most alternatives are more expensive and that increased energy (largely fossil fuel) use is closely correlated to wealth. As nations develop and their people become more prosperous they use more energy and pollute more. That is a true relationship the world over. Take away your fuel then take away your smart phone, the computer you are typing on, and ultimately your wealth. Short of a dramatic change in alternative technology or dramatic rise in fossil fuel prices, you may have to halt the very nature of capitalism to curb the use of fossil fuels in any meaningful way. Also how do you stand in relation to one of the proven, commercial alternatives that is far cheaper than fossil fuels; nuclear. Of course it is for utilities not automotive and of course there is that nagging issue of where to store the waste, but it is a commercial (existing) technology that is far cleaner for the atmosphere and more cost effective. As I pointed out , it is a huge issue, but a fun one for an essay.
Thanks, I will do more research and edit my essay.
Cool topic! This was exactly the example I used in the SIS tutorial course: reach for something that is possible if unlimited resources were available. Your essay is well written and demonstrates a strong vocabulary although be careful with certain lines like “ameliorate our current population….” How? Do you mean it will improve some aspect or quality of life for the Earth population or avoid over-population (you mention later in the essay)? TJ is very specific in its nuts and bolts that students should make their writing clear and explain the details to the reader. A typical mistake among many students is to assume the reader knows what the author means or knows the topic the author is discussing. You must explain. Also, is “erudition” or bookish learning the best word (or synonym for knowledge) in the context, “newly gained erudition from Mars”?
I like the concept that inventions are useless without application and how you tie that back into STEM related progress or innovation. On a new planet the possibilities are endless. Good points. I also like how you wrapped it up by stating confidently you could make it happen. You take ownership of the idea rather than speaking about in the third person hypothetical. That makes me believe you are the type of person that could make it happen and I imagine TJHSST will want to see that capable confidence as well.
A couple of the ideas could possibly be cleaned up a little. “Yet, even with those answers, the colonization of Mars would yield….” Why “even”? Wouldn’t those answers be additive rather than contrasting with the idea that Mars will yield more information and knowledge? Also, “to live as abundantly as US citizens do; given that each US citizen do; given that each citizen averages 8 hectares….” While I like the specifics that show you are really excited by the topic and have learned a fair amount, make sure to carefully edit your writing after finishing to avoid awkward sentences and other such errors. It would be a shame to undermine a great essay with mistakes that display sloppiness.
Choosing the scientific field you want to investigate is truly a matter of background and personal preference. If I had unlimited resources, I would choose to try and prevent global warming. My excitement for choosing global warming is due to my experiences growing up.
Every child has a favorite animal and a passion growing up. Mine, however, were intertwined. My favorite animal: penguins. My passion: stopping global warming from hurting the penguins. After I had strongly decided that penguins were my favorite animal, my nanny at the time took the liberty to teach me about global warming. She was a big nature lover and she wanted another person to care about global warming too. It worked, from then on my goal was to save the penguins of global warming. When I was little, my ideas of stopping global warming were along the lines of sucking the dirty pollution from the air with a vacuum. Later in life, my brainstorms were about how to include solar energy in every day life. Or how to make wind energy more cost effective. My favorite renewable energy source is water energy. I find the idea very simplistic and if you find a place where water is always flowing, you don’t have the problem of dark nights or windless days. If I were to have all the tools I could want to make a scientific advancement, I would choose global warming. It would fill a childhood dream of mine.
There is a reason why I find global warming a pressing matter other than my love for the wonderful creature called a penguin. Whenever I see a factory emitting smoke into the clear and pristine sky above, I feel my heart break. When I see articles that state the earth’s impending doom because of global warming, it makes me so frustrated. I feel useless against it all and I just want to do something to help. To be able to solve at least a portion of global warming would not just be a dream of mine, but a duty I feel I have to complete. Feeling useless against something is not a feeling I welcome.
If I were given unending resources to make a scientific difference, in a heartbeat I would try and stop global warming. My interest in the stopping of global warming sparked as a naïve child with a love for the black and white penguins of Antarctica. Now, through years of seeing flashes of the horror of global warming, I know better. Global warming is not just centered towards penguins, but all life. Sitting there and watching some other scientist struggle to take on global warming is not for me. I want to take action against it. I want to make a difference.
Cancer causes problems, but so do other things too such as addiction and diabetes. Every year around fourteen million people are diagnosed with a disease called cancer. Sadly approximately eight million people die from it every year. I fully believe that by using unlimited resources we could finally bring a stop to this disastrous disease.
Cancer is the second common cause of death in many countries. Cancer destroys lives, it tears them apart. I once had a teacher who was a very dear to my heart, she was diagnosed with cancer and she died. My father’s mother also died because of cancer.
You may be wondering what cancer really is, the definition of a cancer cell is a cell with low ATP energy. ATP stands for Adenosine Triphosphate which are small molecules usually found in the mitochondria. A cell with low ATP energy is not strong it is said to be a cancer cell. Low ATP energy is caused by pleomorphic bacteria which goes inside of cells and blocks the ATP energy so it becomes low, pleomorphic bacteria is pretty unique, they block ATP energy by eating the glucose less glucose means less ATP energy.
There are many ways that people try to solve cancer such as World Cancer Day, and cancer marathons. These things do help but not as much as we would like them to. Billions of dollars are spent on trying to find a cure for cancer, and as you may know the United States is already is a huge debt. With unlimited resources we could stop cancer from taking millions of lives with it each year. We CAN actually make a change for the better. With cancer off of the United States hands we could pay back some of our debt. Most importantly though we should and shall never let cancer destroy our families and take our lives. As I have stated numerous times with unlimited resources we could explore and find cures for cancer. To make things right.
Good first attempt. I might suggest that you could structure or organize the argument more clearly like Caroline2020 at the top of the page. Note how her arguments are introduced in the first paragraph and evidence provided for each in the body paragraphs. If this were a shorter Student Information Sheet prompt (which it could be, but not defined as such in this case) you might approach it differently, Even though she used a typical 5 paragraph structure she was very detailed and used personal experiences to argue her case which are qualities TJ indicates in their “nut & bolts” that they want to see in the essays.
If you want to discuss cancer why did you bring up other diseases in the 1st sentence? It seems a little confusing. I think you mean to say “Cancer is the second (most) common…” in the 2nd paragraph which isn’t really a clear paragraph. Again view the caroline example above. I would like to see more details in that paragraph. Don’t just TELL me you had a teacher. SHOW me through your experience with vivid detail. Put me in your shoes. Help me relate to your story. TJ wants to get to know you so try to give them something personal about you. Next I think many of the terms you explain, but some could use a little more explanation for the reader. Although you may know them well, you cannot assume the reader does. TJ is also clear about this point so they will be on the lookout for unclear statements, acronyms, etc. In the last paragraph it probably isn’t necessary to talk about the US debt. It is off topic and the prompt indicates you have unlimited resources.
I think you could benefit from the essay course which has 2-3 more classes and another 15 topics to write about including instruction on writing your SIS replies. The SISs are quite different and will be 3 of the 4 essay responses you need to write so it is worth the extra practice and instruction.
Thank you so much, unfortunately I have not been properly taught how to write an essay but now I think I can finally learn!
If I were given unlimited resources I would investigate outer space. I would not limit myself to problems we are facing here on earth but i would explore the limitless infinite space. This is because I am very curious to learn more about the world, not the one that we live in but the one that exists out there, there can be limitless supplies out there to help solve problems we are facing on earth, there can be anything out there and finally learning more about the infinite universe will help us understand the way life on earth works and will help in solve greater problems than general daily hardships. We think that we know a lot but we don’t. We have only learned so little that we cannot assume the way earth works is the same way the entire universe works. We can only find out by exploring. And exploring the vast infinite space rather than explore just earth. That is why we should use the resources to explore the universe in general.
The first reason is there are many people out there that really want to learn about what lies beyond our eyes and comprehension. In fact I guarantee that if anyone was given the opportunity to find out nobody would reject. This is important because our brains don’t understand what lies beyond and if we learn the algebra of everything there will be a great understanding of every problem we are currently facing today. I believe if we knew this we would be able to do anything literally. We would understand the structure, the way our universe is put together and that way we can do anything.
The second reason is that we have no idea what lies out there. There might be wormholes,time travel, extraterrestrials and so much more. We don’t know and if we do we can use those discoveries and supplies to our advantage and they can help us do unimaginable feats! We might not only be able to solve our problems but it might also be able to do stuff we have not even thought about.
The last reason is that understanding the concepts of the universe will help us understand the problems we are facing today. Using facts we know about outer space we might be able to relate it to problems on earth because its the same world, the same universe. This will help us do so much and we will be able to fix problems like we have never been able to do so before.
Those are the reasons why we should be using our unlimited resources to take advantage and explore the universe. This way people will learn like they have never before, there might be so much out there that can hep us and finally understanding the structure of the universe will help us understand our earth.
PS. This is an essay please review it!
The structure of the essay is okay. I might add a stronger “hook” to bring the reader in and clarify your roadmap for the following body paragraph arguments. How can you grab the reader’s attention at the start? Maybe you can share a story or quote like pointing out how you wish to race along at warp speed on the Star Trek Enterprise, but for real. I might not mention that you don’t want to learn about our world. Why not? That might send the wrong message. Keep the focus on the positive…space exploration’s potential. In addition, you must be careful about diction and sentence structure. You have run on sentences like the following. These issues must be addressed on proofreadng.
“This is because I am very curious to learn more about the world, not the one that we live in but the one that exists out there, there can be limitless supplies out there to help solve problems we are facing on earth, there can be anything out there and finally learning more about the infinite universe will help us understand the way life on earth works and will help in solve greater problems than general daily hardships.”
Your arguments are clear and reasonable. 1. People are curious 2. We can learn a lot form space exploration 3. That knowledge can be used at home. The supporting evidence is mostly postulational. Try to delve into specific examples that prove your points. What is one actual problem we might solve on Earth as a result of space exploration? What is one thing we need to do more research on in space? Who exactly wants to learn these things?
The ensuing arguments are sort of there in the first paragraph, but could be stated more clearly. Lastly, the conclusion should not just vaguely refer to “those” reasons. You state those reasons again in the following sentence which is good. Tie those into your thesis and make i tone sentence perhaps? Then add something more. Perhaps share with the reader why this is important or convey a message or lesson to leave with the reader at the end. Good early attempt. Keep up the effort!
How many sentences is a good amount to have to be counted as one paragraph? Is the number different for the introduction and conclusion?
There is no definitive answer, but you likely do not want to cut your introduction short. That is the most important paragraph and should probably be your most practiced. The conclusion you can wrap up quickly and more easily and yet still be effective.
Not only is a cure for cancer important to millions diagnosed with it, it is a personal issue for my family. When you have millions people, especially children, affected with cancer, it can play a big role on the child’s emotional state. Imagine a child questioning every day of his or her life and asks, “mommy, am I going to die?”, all because of his incurable disease. Certainly when my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, every single person in the family questioned whether she would live or not. As an eight year old, I was devastated and cried for almost half an hour after I heard about my grandmother’s diagnosis. If we had unlimited resources, no kid would go what I had to, when I heard that my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer.
Another reason why cancer is important to investigate is that cancer plays a prodigious role in employment. I have a friend, who’s mother had cancer as well as my grandmother. His mother was a top executive at a small business and she was running very successfully. On the day she was diagnosed with cancer, she was immediately fired from her job, and she was left unemployed. My friend explained to me that the company fired her because of her “time off” and that she couldn’t be an executive unless she had worked full time. His father eventually had to support the family by himself, leaving shortages of food every night, and coming home at midnight every night. He would sometimes not eat lunch at school because of his loss of appetite, and his thoughts of whether his mother could ever get a job again. His mother got a job three years later, however, she was not doing what she loved, and she was miserable. I could tell that by the look of her face whenever I saw her. This case would, however, be in reverse if cancer took three months to treat instead of three years.
Finding a faster way to treat cancer could save millions of lives and jobs. Children and adults would not have to go through the emotional outbreak that my friend and I had to go through in order to face cancer. Nobody should have to watch their family member struggle through daily activities like walking up the stairs or picking up a spoon. That is the direct reason, for why I would investigate the possibilities for a faster way to treat cancer if I were given unlimited resources.
Now your challenge will be to wrap it up in a bow. i.e. make a tight, well written essay on its own technical merit. Some points were not clear. Did grandma cry because you were sad or because she had cancer? You mixed her example with a hypothetical example of a child with cancer. Why mention how it affected your family and then start the hypothetical tale of a child with cancer? The latter example while powerful is not personal? Is it staying on point or is it a separate example to discuss? Stay focused on each example until you complete what needs to be said. The example of your friend’s mom isn’t entirely clear. Was her “time off” due to chemo therapy or somehow disease related? You wrote, “the case would be in reverse…” What does that mean exactly. I get the idea that it may have never happened, but you could phrase it more clearly and make the case with more evidence? Perhaps she still would have lost her job anyway due to 3 months off work for medical conditions. This opens a door to another very big, current issue in society related to health care coverage. I’m not sure you want to go there, but it could be an essay on its own. There are some sentences and word usage that can be improved. For example. “who’s” should be “whose”. Do you need to say “most certainly” for emphasis? There are some missing words. I will stop there, but it would be worth the effort to clean up some of the writing and focus these powerful ideas into a laser sharp essay.
If I received unlimited resources, I would investigate a way to permanently prevent all types of anxiety disorders, which could lead to finding a cure for depression. So far, anxiety disorders have become the number one health issue in North America. Finding a way to permanently prevent all types of anxiety disorders could save many people from going through the emotional outbreak of fear and impending doom. Children and adults won’t have to go through the tragic experiences that my friend Charlotte still has to go through. Not one person should have to constantly worry when another panic attack will occur. Therefore, this is why if I received unlimited resources, I would investigate a way to permanently prevent all types of anxiety disorders.
There are many medical and scientific problems in the world and if I was given an abundance of resources to investigate any scientific or medical problem, I would investigate Alzheimer’s disease. I would choose to investigate this disease because it could help numerous elderly people, and my grandfather suffers from this horrible disease.
Many elderly people are suffering from a disease called Alzheimer’s disease, investigating this disease could help the elderly a lot. Alzheimer’s disease is the sixth leading cause of death after heart disease and cancer. If we can find a way to stop Alzheimer’s disease from taking people’s lives, then that would help the elderly that suffer from this disease. Approximately five million people ages sixty-five and above, suffer from Alzheimer’s disease. In 2050, about nineteen million Americans will suffer from this disease, multiple sources state this including http://www.alz.org. I do not want elderly people to suffer in the last moment of their lives. Alzheimer’s disease takes away memories over time, and I want the elderly to remember the people they cherish. If I could use my unlimited resources to help try and cure Alzheimer’s, then the elderly people would not have to suffer because of memory loss and they can remember their family members.
When I found out that my beloved grandfather was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, I was absolutely mortified and not to mention scared. I understood that there were medicines that slow down the effects of Alzheimer’s disease, but the medicines do not actually cure the disease. Every year that I would visit my grandfather, he would talk to himself and he always thought that my parents were around when they were not. My grandfather remembers me from time to time, but I sometimes feel as if he is in his own world. If I could investigate this disease, then I would hope that investigating it would help him take his medicine without major side effects like hallucinations.
To conclude my thoughts, If I was blessed with unlimited resources, then I would use them to find the cure for Alzheimer’s disease. I would investigate this cause because it could help elderly people keep their memories and it could help them live longer, and this investigation could possibly help my grandfather stop having horrible hallucinations. I believe that with unlimited resources, we could help stop a terrible, life threatening disease called Alzheimer’s disease.
In today’s world, millions of people suffer from one significant disease: Cancer. Cancer is the second leading cause of death, worldwide. While others are talking about things like gun violence, gender identification, and political opinions, I worry about cancer. Growing up, I have heard about many people that suffer from cancer. I used to think cancer was something that could never effect me. I was wrong.
One day, I came home from school to see my mother crying. I ran over to her, wondering what horrible thing had happened. When I asked her, she shook her head and said:
“My best friend got diagnosed with cancer.”
I could not believe it. I started wondering what would happen. As the weeks passed, my mom told me her friend’s condition was getting worse and worse. She told me that the cancer was spreading throughout her friend’s body. About a month after she was diagnosed, the doctors decided to put my moms friend through chemo-therapy. Wondering what that was, I decided to do some research on the topic. I found out that chemo-therapy was one of the most painful and dangerous therapies in the world. The doctors literally poisoned the patient and hoped the cancer would die first. Heartbroken, I realized that the friend’s chances of survival were very slim.
Sure enough, about two weeks later, my mom found out the friend had passed away. When she told me, I became angry at the doctors.
“It’s not their fault,” my mom said gently.
To this, I ran to my room.
Ever since that incident, I have wanted to cure cancer. If I were given infinite resources, I would put everything into cancer research. As an aspiring doctor, I cannot witness the destruction of families and friendships any longer. I would have a group of the finest cancer researchers on the planet come together to find a solution. I would pay them what they want, but they would have to work full time on the research. Once they find a cure, I would give them great rewards.
Throughout my life, I have wanted nothing more than to see people smile. Cancer has always been in the way of those smiles. For this reason, I will stop at nothing to cure cancer.
The first reason that I would do research on the human brain is that it is a complicated part of the human anatomy, and is also one of the most important; I like doing challenging topics. Our brain has control over most, if not, all of our body functions and systems. Also, overall, I believe that it is important for everyone to know about this organ. The complex factor of our brain only powers me up to do more research on it.
Next would be the fact that scientists only know so little about the brain. The unlimited resources, that even the best of scientists may not have, can come into use in finding out about this wonder. Even until now, scientists and researchers are making new discoveries about our brain. These discoveries can lead to ways for finding cures to diseases and disorders like dementia, Parkinson’s disease, and Alzheimer’s disease. Finding out more about our brain would open a knew box to the medical drugs and inventions that can be created in the future.
There are many scientific and medical problems that I could choose from, but I believe the problem of scientists not knowing enough about the brain is the best. They as well as researchers all still making discoveries about it, and I want to be someone who can use my resources to do it to. Also, the level of complexity of it makes me enjoy it even more as a challenge. In the end, out of all other medical and scientific problems, I would choose the brain.
I kind of really like this topic. Most students will choose to study cancer or some disease, but your choice is truly highlighting your intellectual curiosity and it is true the brain is perhaps the most misunderstood part of the human body yet arguably what makes us unique. Much better job on this effort to avoid passive sentences. While there are some weaknesses in the writing mechanics I think the organization, topic, and enthusiasm more than make up for it. I did kind of get lost in the following awkward sentence. “They as well as researchers all still making discoveries about it, and I want to be someone who can use my resources to do it to.” Make sure to check your work. As long as you keep the mechanics clean, you should be in good shape on an essay like this.
Thank you so much.